Q: I have a friend who sweetly and excitedly volunteered to throw a bridal shower for me after she heard that I was engaged. Time has passed quickly and my wedding is now less than 3 months away. My friend hasn’t mentioned my shower again and I no longer think that she has any intention of throwing one for me. Can I say something to her? I don’t want to appear rude! — Brynn in TN
A: Yes, you can say something to her. In fact, you should say something. I understand your fear. Brides (well, the reasonable ones anyways) are always worried that they’ll be viewed as selfish bridezillas. And, confronting a friend about a potentially awkward topic is never easy. However, if you approach her with kindness and a relaxed attitude, she won’t react defensively and you should be able to have a practical conversation about this.
Has anyone else volunteered to throw you a shower? If so, you could use this as an opener, saying something like, “Anna So-and-so recently offered to throw a bridal shower for me, but I wasn’t sure if you were still planning on hosting one. I wanted to check with you about it before I told her anything.” This may give your friend an easy out if she is no longer able to host your shower. No matter her reason, she still needs to let you know so that you are free to move on and make other shower plans.